Essay Online

Today, Norm Goldman, Publisher & Editor of Bookpleasures.com is pleased to have as our guest, Helen Barer author of Fitness Kills.

Helen is a native New Yorker and has spent many years as a writer of non-fiction ranging from cookbooks to television documentaries.

Norm:

Good day Helen and thanks for participating in our interview.

Helen:

I’m delighted to have been invited.

Norm:

How did you happen to write a book about a fitness ranch in Baja and could you also tell us a bit about Fitness Kills?

Helen:

I’m a big fan of fitness spas - I’ve been going to one or another for more than 20 years. About 12 years ago, while struggling through an aerobics class at a spa in Baja California, I looked around and thought it was like being on a cruise ship. We’d all arrived on a Saturday, would leave the following Saturday, and in the meantime got to be ‘intimate acquaintances.’

Fitness Kills is the story of Nora Franke,, a New York City food writer who having broken up with her boyfriend, and having gained weight as a result, accepted a temporary job as food consultant at such a fitness spa. She is befriended by a group of regulars, and is caught up by their pain and loss as one, and then another, of the friends die. Nora’s primary employer back in New York assigns her to write an article about the deaths at the health spa, and she becomes invested in solving the murder (and keeping herself alive!).

Norm:

What attracted you to the mystery genre?

Helen:

I like stories with a beginning, middle and end. As well as those with a strong central character - preferably a woman - that have something to say about how we live today and what our values are.

Norm:

What do you believe are the essential ingredients of a good mystery novel?

Helen:

Suspense! And caring about what happens to the characters. Which means, of course, that you have to know the characters. Believability is also essential. This is not a fantasy genre.

Norm:

Is your work improvisational or do you have a set plan?

Helen:

It starts off with a plan. Actually, I’m meticulous at the beginning. I have a summary page, a chapter-by-chapter outline, and know how it ends. But the middle…that’s the real mystery! As I established the characters’ voices, I found they led me in unexpected directions.

Norm:

Helen, this was your first mystery fiction writing project. Did you enjoy the process? How was it different from your typical format?

Helen:

I’d never written fiction before. It was like re-inventing the wheel. I found it very clumsy until a writing teacher at the New School, in a class I’d found called “Starting Your Novel,” suggested I switch to first person. All of a sudden I found my voice! Slightly smart ass, New York City, and vulnerable. I loved it. The dialogue came very naturally to me; it was the plot I struggled with.

Norm:

Can you tell us how you found representation for your book? Did you pitch it to an agent, or query publishers who would most likely publish this type of book? Any rejections?

Helen:

I did pitch it to many agents, all of whom said ‘very well written, but not right for us - it’s not hard-boiled enough/sexy enough/ complicated enough/ straightforward enough…’ take your pick. It was more than discouraging, But I’m in a terrific writing workshop, and two of the authors were published by Five Star, an imprint of Thomson Gale that publishes mystery novels. I queried Five Star directly, sent the book to them as an attachment to an email, and they accepted it almost immediately.

Norm:

What challenges or obstacles did you encounter while writing your book? How did you overcome these challenges?

Helen:

I’d had no idea how to write fiction; it was like learning a foreign language. I read a lot - other mysteries, writers about writing, etc. — and went to mystery conferences. Joining a writing workshop was a major step. Talk about challenges! They pulled and pushed me into writing and rewriting.

Norm:

Was there anyone who really influenced you to become a writer?

Helen:

My mother. She was never without a book, nor was I. She encouraged me to write even as a little girl; my first significant piece was a fourth grade project called “My Life in the Wilderness.” It got an A.

Norm:

Many writers want to be published, but not everyone is cut out for a writer’s life. What are some signs that perhaps someone is not cut out to be a writer and should try to do something else for a living?

Helen:

Don’t give up your day job! I actually waited until I was nearly retired to write full time. Otherwise there’s so much pressure. It also helps to have a thick skin.

Norm:

What are your upcoming projects? How can readers find out more about you and your endeavors?

Helen:

I’m almost halfway through writing my next Nora Franke mystery novel, while promoting this one. Check out my website, .helenbarer.com/.

Norm:

Is there anything else you wish to add that we have not covered?

Helen:

I can’t imagine. You’ve been so thorough.

Ever had your moral convictions put to the test? Most of us think we know what we’d do in any given situation. But do we really? Maybe another unknown part of us surfaces and takes over&ndashleaving us in a confusion of questions. But the deed is done and we cannot take it back.

This is the predicament, Harry Jenkins, protagonist/lawyer of The Osgoode Trilogy finds himself in, at the beginning of the first novel, Conduct in Question. Harry longs for freedom and love, but has been trapped under his senior partner’s thumb and in a dead marriage for years. He’s always been certain of his own moral convictions, but when his partner drops dead in the office, Harry is free to make his own mistakes.

He and his wife Laura often argue about money.

&ndasha topic fraught with land mines. Her hardened face floated up in his mind.

“Law practice is more than just making money,” Harry had insisted.

“Of course!” she said in wearily impatient tones. “But it certainly doesn’t hurt to set the right value on your services.”

“So I’m not making enough. Is that it?”

“No. But if you didn’t get so personally involved with your clients, maybe you’d do better.”

Harry was astonished. “So I care too much about them? I care about what I’m doing?”… “Clients trust me! I’ve earned that. I can’t turn around and fleece them.”

Although not satisfied with life, Harry&ndash

had learned his lessons well. He had kept his part of the bargain. But where was his reward? Flashy cars and grandiose houses were the supposed perks of his profession. His Ford was surrounded by Audis. Playing by the rules had not gotten him far. Of course, he wasn’t poor. Laura and he were comfortable. Yet, there was a yearning, a sense that the time for making real money was passing. But it wasn’t just the money. A dull emptiness nagged at his spirit.

And so, he is ripe for the picking! Almost immediately, he is swept into a massive money-laundering scheme by the enigmatic Mr. Chin &ndash land developer &ndash thereby putting him in direct conflict with his oldest and wealthiest client, Marjorie Deighton. With Albert Chin’s huge retainer check for work to be done, Harry senses something is amiss. When he deposits the check in the bank, the manager demands he make a payment on his deceased partner’s very substantial and overdue bank loan. Otherwise, he will freeze the Chin money. In a dilemma, Harry is forced to use the Chin retainer to make a payment.

Harry was scrupulous about client funds, and would fret if the bookkeeper missed a penny. Snatching up his check book, he saw in his mind the bright and trusting faces of a hundred clients. He saw those faces turn gray in disbelief when he uncapped his pen.

Petty triumph gleamed in Mudhali’s eyes.

Despite years of circumspection and care, Harry was driven by a new and reckless fury. Either he made a payment, or the bank would freeze his accounts. Mudhali had nailed him to the wall.

Like most of us, Harry is good at justifying his actions.

Albert Chin had said that money was no problem, and after all, there was lots of work in preparing those offers. He would search the titles to the properties, do the corporate searches, and prepare six offers and submit them. Surely that would add up to twenty-five grand. Besides, Chin would not have given him such a munificent retainer had he not expected a sizable bill. And Harry knew that he was not the only lawyer guilty of such an infraction.

What does Harry do? After all, he may be our hero, but he’s a pretty human guy. Despite his instincts and better judgment, he turns a blind eye to obvious signs of danger and accepts Mr. Chin’s gifts.

Harry withdrew two first-class tickets for flights and a voucher for a three-night stay in a luxury suite in Nassau. “The Atlantis Resort,” he whispered. Shimmering blue waters danced before his mind’s eye.

After a moment, he said, “This is more than kind of you, sir, but&ndash”

Mr. Chin held up his hand. “Please. The conglomerate wishes to express its gratitude for your most timely service. We know you have made room for us in your busy schedule.”

“But surely not. The retainer is very substantial, and…” He fingered the brochure, which featured a photograph of sunny beaches and gently lapping water.

And so, much of Conduct in Question is about Harry trying to extricate himself from the clutches of Mr. Chin. But Harry has lots of other problems to contend with when he comes face to face with the nature of evil in tracking down the Florist, a sadistic killer with an artistic flair who believes he is called to judge the worthiness of his victims. But that story is for another day!

Love songs are everywhere. But does anyone have a definition of love, which &ndash people claim &ndash makes the world go around? Sure, it’s easy to tell when you’re in love with someone. [The heart pounds and you act like an idiot.] But it’s much harder to say if you actually love someone.

Enter the mind of Harry Jenkins, as he is about to make love to Natasha,

And then he laughed at himself as he sank beneath the covers. No sane man would question such free and voluptuous pleasure, as if it could only be valued through thought. Only an idiot or a fool would try to analyze love and passion.

Nonetheless, like the fool, I seek a definition. Perhaps it is the lawyer in me. On the subject of love, Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist, is a sobering read. All of us, supposedly, carry within us, an animus [if you're female] and an anima [if you're male], which is the idealized image of the person you love. And so, when you are in love you are projecting this idealized image on a real, live person who might be naturally quite entitled to be different.

After the honeymoon, those annoying little cracks in the image appear, which could certainly explain the high divorce rate. When you find the real person doesn’t exactly match your superimposed ideal, what do you do?

All of these thoughts led me to explore people’s ideas of all kinds of love, not just the romantic variety, in Final Paradox, the second in The Osgoode Trilogy.

Harry Jenkins is the lawyer protagonist throughout the trilogy, which contain story lines of murder and fraud. He is in the thrall of the beautiful Natasha. His aging father, who abandoned him as a child, has just asked his forgiveness. Harry can’t seem to find that in his heart. Natasha asks him&ndash

What do you think love is?

He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s about wanting someone as part of your life. Wanting them always with you.” He looked into her eyes. “Why? What do you think?”

“I think it’s about getting outside yourself and seeing another person’s life from their point of view. At least that’s a start,” Natasha replied.

Harry heard his father’s words. It’s all about you, is it? Would he always be the kid, he wondered?

Another character musing about love is Norma Dinnick &ndash an elderly client of Harry’s who trips back and forth between lucidity and madness. She recollects her stew of feelings for various men.

Going back to her hotel, Norma tried to understand. She knew about affection and caring from Arthur, her husband, who kept her safe from the emptiness. But she did not understand this business of love, which David talked about. She did know that such emotions gave her a sense of power. The sheer lust she experienced in the presence of George made her feel weak and vulnerable.

Norma simply doesn’t understand about love and neither does Bronwyn &ndash another character. An embittered soul, she has married a gay man and on her honeymoon - She wandered the narrow beach of sand and stone where the boats ferried back and forth to the grottos. No Peter. But then she saw him at a distance on the beach walking slowly with a younger man she did not know. Where had they come from? Right from the start, she had known. Of course, the bargain was unspoken, but well understood. For money and security, Bronwyn had sacrificed any chance for love.

But in the end, Harry does begin to get it. In bed with the lovely Natasha, he was

…transported outside his own body, he was overcome with the desire to know the dreams, fantasies and mysteries she held within. He would enter her world with love and understanding and never leave. The awe he felt in her closeness made his breathing slow and deepen in rhythm with hers. He watched his hand reach out of the shadows to smooth the sheet. She was at last in his bed and, fearing a mirage, he dared not wake her. In the past two weeks, his world had been shaken. His mind had become a jumble of colliding, conflicting events and consequences. Now he felt her power to draw his life together. A still peace gently settled over him like a silken web of meaning.

(Reprinted from Final Paradox by Mary E. Martin with permission).

I never considered myself a particularly spiritual, or for that matter, a religious person. But I’ve found that in writing The Osgoode Trilogy, particularly the third, A Trial of One, that compassion has become very strong theme which runs through all three novels.

I just found this quote from Thomas Aquinas &ndash “I would rather feel compassion than know the meaning of it.” Surely, this must be the difference between the understanding of the head and the heart.

In the first novel in the trilogy, Conduct in Question, we have a man dubbed by the media as the “The Florist” who is a serial killer &ndash so named because he tries to capture the easy flow of the line of the master painter, Matisse, in his carvings on his victims. He is a sadistic killer with an artistic bent.

You may feel [as I do] that the world has plenty of novels with serial killers and so, rather than detailing his rampages, I wanted to add some provocatively human touches to the character of the “Florist.” More than anything else, he wants to experience the emotion of compassion.

When he speaks to his mother, who is long since dead, he says in frustration &ndash “I know what the word compassion mean, mother, but what does it feel like?”

As the story nears its conclusion, the “Florist” gets his wish &ndasha fleeting sense of compassion. About to murder his next victim, John, who is a truly simple soul &ndash the church caretaker &ndash the “Florist” is overcome with a compassionate sense and decides to spare him.

When the Florist silently stepped into the room, a strange sensation passed over him. Was this what Mother spoke of? As if disoriented, he stopped and shook his head. Was this compassion?

“It’s you!” said John, his smile radiating a sweetness the Florist had never seen before. He saw the muscles of the huge man flex; John’s damp white shirt was matted to his skin. He saw the thinning but baby-fine hair, neatly combed in place. Suddenly he saw the simple man as more than an obstacle in his path. He thought that life could not have been easy for such an imbecile. He should be spared. Mother would be proud of his act of compassion.

In Final Paradox, our hero, Harry Jenkins learns that compassion means stepping into another’s shoes and understanding what it feels like. Easy to say &ndash hard to do! When Harry was eight, his father withdrew from almost all contact with his family after the death of Anna, his daughter &ndashHarry’s sister. Now, years later, while his father is in surgery for a brain aneurysm, Harry waits in the Quiet Room trying to understand how his father could have abandoned him as a child.

At the very moment of his asking, Harry gets his answer as he witnesses the following played out before him.

Harry caught his breath. An unearthly wailing came from the hallway. The door to the Quiet Room flew open. A tall, bony woman, wearing a mauve dress and yellow shawl, clung desperately to the arms of two men. One was old and hunched and the other muscular and attentive.

The florescent lighting illuminated the woman’s face raw with agony.

“No! No!” As if possessed, she shook violently and her voice slid up octaves. “By the blood of Christ, no!” Clasping her hands to her ears, she began to moan, her eyes ricocheting about the room.

She screamed at the ceiling. “Why have you cursed me? He cannot be taken so soon.”

Harry pressed his hands against his face. With all his heart, he wanted to pray. He had just witnessed the unholy wrenching of the spirit at the loss of a child, caused by blind hatred. As he touched the tears on his face, he began to understand. “God forgive me,” he whispered. “I have known nothing! My father died along with Anna. I did nothing to help.”

And that’s exactly where Harry begins to understand his father and compassion &ndash by actually experiencing his pain and loss. True, you may study compassion and quote clever sayings about it, but if you never feel another’s pain and suffering in your heart and your gut, as if it were your very own, you do not know what it is.

Do you think some people are naturally more compassionate?

In A Trial of One, Harry’s beloved, Natasha has her own struggles with compassion. She is forced to choose between two people she loves &ndash Harry and her friend Sheila. Natasha recollects a conversation, years back, between her mother, Renee, and her Aunt Mila. The boss has demanded that Renee sleep with him so she can advance in the business.

“Oh, Renee! You poor kid!”

After a long silence, her mother said softly, “Once we’d done it, his eyes looked so sad and ashamed, like being him just wore him down.”

Mila was aghast. “You felt sorry for him?”

“No, not really. But I can see how loneliness can make you crazy.” Afterwards, we talked a bit, sitting on the bed in the motel. He was living all alone there because his wife had run off with the kids.”

Natasha’s compassionate nature makes choosing between Harry and Sheila so difficult for her. Hurt and angry, Sheila has betrayed Natasha who now considers her next step as she wanders the beach.

Natasha turned and walked slowly past the riot of weeds and up to the cottage. Soon she would drive back to the city. She knew Harry was her passion, the one who had awakened her to herself. But she still heard Sheila’s cry &ndash one of all humanity &ndash because it hurts! Sheila’s pain, from fear of loss, was a pain shared by the whole world. She did not reach it by reason, but she knew there was only one thing she could do &ndash act with love, care, and compassion.

Talking about love and compassion… having to decide between two people who love her, [Harry and Sheila] Natasha must find that balance between passion and compassion. Easy to say: hard to do!